Nowhere
by ambruary
Summary: Ellie needed to get away from Toronto, and she did. But now, will she be able to return?
1. Where to now?

_To everyone,_

_I have to leave. Life is getting way to hectic to stay in Toronto. The thing __is, I have no idea what I am doing with my life.__I can't tell you where I am going, because even I don't know. Maybe I'll see__ one of you__ again one day._

_From__, Ellie_

That pathetic letter was the last thing any of my friends heard from me. There was no way I would be able to tell any of them to their faces. It has been one year since then, and I have finally settled in to my new life in the smallest town in Nova Scotia. Annapolis Royal is incredibly different from Toronto, with a population of four hundred forty-six, everyone knows everyone.

I have a full time job as a writer for The Annapolis Spectator, it accepted me even though I had only one year of collage to put on my application. Every one of my days follows the same pattern; get up, lock up my tiny apartment right near the coast, pick up coffee at Greg's Diner, get to work, leave work, eat dinner at Greg's, go home, sleep. This pattern has never been broken since the day I got here. I didn't plan for it to change today, but nothing stays the same for too long.

I pulled up to my regular seat at the counter, and ordered my regular. Coffee. Black. At this point in my day, I wasn't expecting anything out of the ordinary.

Then a tall, average sized man in his early twenties sat on the stool next to me an ordered a coffee. Now this was out of the ordinary, usually, I could get my coffee and leave before anyone else even entered the diner, just me and Greg. I mean, who the heck gets up at five in the morning just to get a cup of coffee besides me!? I stared at him from the corner of my eye, I knew everyone in this town, who was this guy? He had a frayed maroon hat on that covered his light brown hair and was wearing a faded grey T-shirt. He was attractive, I would give him that.

"So what are you doing up this early? I've only been here a few days, but I know that no one has to be at work till eight in this town." He had a calm voice. "I myself am a fisherman; you have to be up early to catch the _good_ fish." He was only telling me this so that I would trust him.

"Avoiding conversation." I said simply and continued to sip my coffee. He laughed at this, and took his coffee from Greg.

"Well then, guess I'll be going." He said as he stood up from his spot on the stool; the bell on the door rung as he walked out.

For the rest of the day I could not get him out of my head. He had disrupted my cycle.

"Hey, what's up with you?" Kristen, I suppose I could call her my only friend in this town, asked. This girl could give anyone a heart attack, she just pops out of nowhere in a second without any warning. She has natural bleach blond hair, and is always wriggling her way into any bit of gossip she could get. Needless to say, she's really good at her job.

"It's nothing." I said as I closed the webpage I was looking at and gave her a reassuring smile.

" Are you sure about that? You seem a little out of it." She said as she sat on the edge of my desk.

"Just a new guy in town….." I said slowly, slightly looking away.

"Yes! Finally some drama around this town sleepy old town! Do you know how hard it is for gossip columnist in a town of under five-hundred people?"

"Yea, well I'll let you know if I find any juicy secrets about him."

"You better." She said then hopped off to her own desk. She is such a city girl, but could only afford the dirt cheap apartments here.

After work I went down to the docks to see if I could find anything out about this newcomer.

"Looking for me?" My heart stopped when I heard a deep voice behind me and I turned around to see the just guy I had been looking for.

"Name's Jarrett Hadley, we met at the diner." He said this then extended his hand.

"Ellie Nash." I responded as I accepted his greeting. There was something odd about this guy. Something about him made him different from all the other guys I had ever met. You could see it staring at from his eyes, but it was well disguised and hidden. _Some__thing_ Sooner or later I would find out if that something was a good thing or bad.

A few weeks went by, and I slowly started to slip Jarrett into my pattern. It started where we just met at the diner, then his house, then mine. He wasn't the first guy I felt I could trust completely, but he was the first guy I was sure would never leave me . I then moved into his house, seeing as it was larger than mine. I still couldn't figure out what his _something _was, but soon enough I forgot about it. I had fallen for him, hard. The only bad thing I found about Jarrett was that he drank, but only a little.

Jarrett definitely settled into this small town life much faster than I did. Everyone immediately liked him, he had this great personality that disabled you from disliking him. It was just one of his many wonderful qualities.

It was almost one in the morning when Jarrett got home from a night out with a few of his friends at the local bar. Knowing the bartender was helpful, I could easily find out if he was cheating on me, but Jarrett would never do a thing like that to me. I just finished proofing my newest article when he stumbled through our front door.

"Hey Ellllll……..could you help me to the bathroom?" he said as he leaned against the door for support. I got up from my spot on our worn couch and help into the small bathroom next to the bedroom.

"You know, you really should stop drinking. I –" I was cut off by the harsh sting of his hand as he slapped me across the face.

"Don't y-you ever t-tell me whadd I sh-should do in my own house, I'll do what I want!" he slurred and went into the bedroom.

Okay, not exactly the reaction I was expecting. I finally fell off that t cloud I had been on since I moved in with him. I think I finally think I found out what that _something_was that he was disguising so well in his eyes. It was anger, hate, and out of control temper. This was not good.

Let's go down the list shall we; I had been the cover up girl to Marco, the second best to Sean, the _friend_ to Craig, and I was a few months of entertainment to Jesse. As you can see the track record I have with guys is one bumpy road, but I never expected this type of bump. I mean, sure, I should have seen it coming. The whole universe just wants me to experience every type of crappy relationship out there.

A/N: Sorry I haven't written in a while, school is just one of those annoying things that are always getting the way from what's really important. Anyway Pure Addiction is going to be on a hiatus for a while, I just had to type this new idea out and this is where it led me.


	2. Stuck

I rolled over until I was at the edge of _our _bed with barely any of the sheets covering my cold body. I wanted to get as far away from _him_ as discretely as possible. Who knows what he is capable of? I chose a strong, buff, fisherman, as my first boyfriendsince Jesse, nice going Nash. The slap didn't even leave a mark on my face but his tone and actions from the night before left a scar permanently engraved in my mind. I was terrified to say the least, I have been hurt verbally so many times in my life, but never has anyone _physically_ hurt me.

I got up from the bed and got ready for work as quietly as possible. Every morning before this particular one I had woke him up with a kiss and _together_ we would go to the diner and then to our jobs. This morning it would be like it was a month ago; just me and Greg. Everyone used to ask me why I didn't leave my mother as soon as my dad left for Kabul and she started drinking again; the answer is the same form her as it is for Jarrett, because I love them. It is so sick, but I can't help it. I used to love him because I thought for once I was going to be taken care of by someone else, now I love him because I want to make sure he is taken care of, no matter what he does to me.

The bells above the door jingled, announcing my presence, as I entered the deserted diner and took my seat at the very edge of the counter.

"No Mr. Hadley this morning eh?" Greg asked as he finished turning on all the frying pans for the day's work. I just shook my head no in response and silently waited for my coffee.

"I'll have it to go today Greg, I need to get into work early to get a head start on an article I have to have finished by the end of the day." The truth was I just wanted to get out of here in case Jarrett woke up and looked for me here.

"Aww gonna leave me here alone are we, that's kind of mean don't you think?" he joked and disappeared with a grin as he went under the counter in search of a Styrofoam cup.

I left the diner, coffee in hand, and walk a few streets down to the paper. Maybe work would let me forget, even if for just a few hours.

I walked into the office expressionless; I couldn't let anyone in on what was going on. This is a small town, and with Kristen on the case, my whole life story would be out in the open and would spread like wildfire.

As soon as I settled in, there she was, Miss Gossip Queen herself.

"Uhgg!! Do you know what the latest gossip is? It's that some guy is coming here and to set up a car garage. Who the heck cares about that?" she yelled exasperated.

"Uh, I don't know, maybe someone whose car is broken, and the nearest car garage is a half an hour away if you _drive_ there?" I stated simply, she rolled her eyes at this.

"What I'm trying to say is this town is so boring! I know you have only been living with that fisherman guy for a month, but do have anything I could use to try and get a promotion with?"She never called him Jarrett; she never fell under the spell that he seemed to have the rest of the town under.

I thought quickly, trying to come up with something that would stop me from saying "Well, now that you mention it, when he is drunk he has a really bad temper and likes to yell and slap people. Will that help you with a new article?"

"Absolutely, he has a pair of bright purple socks! They're terribly hideous! I'm sure an article about a guy's socks will get you a promotion, you better make it top priority." Socks, she'll never think you're hiding something now Nash. I had to keep that stupid smile on my face as she looked at me in a weird way, but all she just said was this.

"You know it would really help if you could date an axe murder or something." And then she turned on her heels and walk briskly away. You have no idea how close you are to knowing what Jarrett really is Kristen, no idea.

After work I went straight home, I wanted to see if he was going to say anything about what he had done to me. I walk through the front door and there he was in front of the TV, beer in hand.

"How was work?" I asked as I took off my coat and set down my bag full of research papers and other documents used to help me out with my articles.

"Fine." He said as he neglected to look at me and continued to watch the screen.

"Did you catch a lot of fish today?"

"What, did you lose your job or something? I can't be the only one to bring money into this relationship you know!" He was getting violent, and it was just then that I noticed there were three empty beer bottles sitting next to him. Maybe this wasn't the time to have this conversation.

"No, no I was just asking." I backed away a little, this didn't go unnoticed. His cold blue eyes stared at me for a second. He brought the beer down from his lips and set it on the end table next to him. He got up and came so close to me that my back was against the wall, and grabbed me by the arms. I could feel and smell his intoxicated breath as it trickled against my ear as he spoke.

"This," he said as he squeezed my arms so tight that I could scream bloody murder, "and what happened the night before; no one can know about it. Do you understand me?"

All I could was nod my head feverishly in a response as the pain in my arms sky rocketed to a level of pain I had never felt before.

"Good to know you get the idea." He said acidly with and evil smirk and let go of my arms then walked away.

I gingerly moved up my sleeve in order to reveal the newly forming bruise underneath. I clenched my jaw as pain ran through my whole body as I moved my sleeve slowly back down over the fresh wound. My arms can deal with a lot of pain, but when it's someone else causing it, it hurts seven times worse than anything I had ever done to myself I nearly jumped when I heard his voice from down the hall.

"By the way, whenever that new garage opens up I'll be taking the truck down to it; it wouldn't start this morning. So save up."

I would be lying if I said I wasn't scared. I was stuck and no amount of grease was going to help me out of this one. I would just have to try and survive each passing day.


	3. Old lives and new ones

"Why the heck are you going there? Isn't Annapolis Royal like the smallest town in all of Nova Scotia?" Sean asked.

"That is exactly the reason I'm going _there_! Alex is moving to L.A. in the states, Spin isn't doing too well with the cancer treatments and only has time for Jane anyway, and you, you're heading off to God knows where to legally kill people! What do I have left in the big city? Nothing, so I'm going to exactly the opposite of what I've known all my life." I yelled .

"I would prefer 'serving my country' but whatever. One question though, do you really need to change the scene so much. I mean you could easily get lost in another city, or stay here in Halifax; you would definitely be able to start over here."

"Nah, I want try out the little town life. Hey don't you have a connecting flight to catch?" I asked as I glanced over at the clock on the wall of the terminal.

"Oh yeah, and Jay…" said Sean.

"What?"

"I expect to see you again."

"Same here don't go and get yourself killed on me, or Emma, who knows what she'll do without you."

I watched him as he nodded and slowly headed off to his gate. So this was it? The last time I would ever see anyone I had ever known before today. I slung my worn brown leather bag over my shoulder and stepped onto the plane. It was a small plane with about fifteen other people one it. Row F seat 2, a window seat with no one next to me, good, I didn't want to have to talk to anyone. I watched the view as we flew farther and farther away from all I had ever known. I'm not the sentimental kind of guy, so this 'watching the view' thing is something I usually don't do, but I needed to get my mind off …….everything.

We landed around noon and it took about another half an hour to get to Annapolis Royal. Okay, I had heard this place was small, but this place is _really _small. From my spot at me new apartment I could practically see the whole town. The only place I couldn't see was the few houses along the shore, but that's only because they were down a small hill, I could still see their roofs though.

I walked into my brand new apartment. It was a small, dark, and had mostly wood paneled walls, with the exception of the one bedroom, which was painted with a dark maroon paint that was chipping in few places. It had four rooms; the bathroom that was the size of a closet, the bedroom that was the size of a larger closet, the kitchen that had a counter and oven on one side and then a bunch of cabinets and worn down sink on the other side, and lastly a small area that was supposed to be a living room.

Since I didn't have any money I would be sleeping on the floor and living off canned soup for a little while. I just really hoped that my garage would take off and I will be able to make a living off the only thing I was good at.

I wiped off the last window on the third garage door for at least the hundredth time as I anxiously awaited the beginning of the business day. I was scared to say the least, I mean I had never actually done anything with my life except to party and drink. It was something new for me, as was everything else. All the sudden I saw a sexy blond walking her way over to me. She was tall and was wearing a business suit and black high heels to match.

"Hello. All I need is your name, business aspirations, and a picture of you in front of your…. What are you here for again?" she asked the first part almost robotically.

"The name's Jay Hogart," I extended a hand which she glanced at then ignored but did right down what I said in a small notebook, "and I'm hoping to be starting a car garage here." I finished then added, "You seem extremely thrilled to be doing this interview." Then I cocked my eyebrows at her.

"Well, no offense, but you're not all that interesting. I asked my friend Ellie to do the interview for me, and she did agree to do it, but when the time for it rolls around, she calls in sick! And the weird thing is, I asked her boyfriend how she was on my way here, and he said she told him she went to work today. By the way he asked me to ask you if you could go to fix his truck up at his house, there is something wrong it, he said it wouldn't start or something. His name is Jarrett Hadley by the way, I don't personally like him, but El is in love with this guy. You'll be able to find him at the docks later, he's a fisherman." She didn't even take a breath the whole time.

She reminded me of Paige a bit, only taller and skinnier. This made me hate her almost instantly, but she wasn't Paige, and I had to keep reminding myself that I was at least one thousand kilometers away from Toronto and all those memories, the few good and many bad ones.

Just then something she said dawned on me, she had said Ellie was the name of her friend, interesting; it was name of the girl that disappeared off the face of the Earth last year after her dad died. Ellie is not a very common name and if this Ellie is also a writer then they are either really alike or the same person. If it is the same girl, then this truly is very a small world.

"Uh, could you please stop daydreaming so we could take this stupid picture and I don't get fired?" Her annoyed voice took me out of my thoughts and I quickly posed as the camera flashed and she left without another word.

A few cars later and it was already time to close up. The day went by quickly, and the only person that I disliked here, was that reporter. I threw a few of my tools in a tool box and headed down to the docks.

I saw about six or seven young guys sitting around a cooler of beers laughing and talking in front of a small red and white boat.

"Hey, which one of you is Jarrett Hadley?" I yelled out and all heads turned on me.

"Me, why?" It was a muscular man about the same size as myself with black hair that answered. He was a little buzzed, but otherwise stable, you could tell that much from his voice. He was leaning against the boat and when he answered he placed his beer on the wooden dock and stood up straight.

"I'm Jay, I own the new garage some girl said you needed your truck fixed?" I answered tentatively.

"Oh, right," he smacked his head as if he had totally forgotten, "Hal can give us a ride. My house is at the edge of town so it's a little far to walk." Hal, a blond guy the same build as Jarrett, led us to his red, shiny, Ford.

About three minutes later, after driving on the shore we pulled up into a sandy drive way right next to his rusted blue truck.

"There it is." said Jarrett casually then leaned against Hal's truck and waited. I nodded then lifted up the hood with some difficulty and fiddle around a little. I jumpstarted the battery and wiped the back my greasy hand against my forehead as I put the hood of the truck down.

"Okay, start her up."Jarrett took his keys and turned the car on, and immediately the engine roared and sounded perfect. I smiled in achievement. He turned the car off and came over to me with my payment in hand.

"Thanks." During this transaction I saw this man's eyes for the first time; they reminded me so much of the ice cold eyes of my abusive father. To an untrained eye, his eyes would seem like nothing out of the ordinary, but once the sting of someone else's skin, or even something worse like a belt, hit your own for no reason at all, you could read all eyes like an open book, and these particular ones were hidden better than most, but still screamed abusive and a very bad temper. Whoever this Ellie may be, old girlfriend of my best friend or not, I was truly scared for her.

Okay I really have to stop comparing the people here to the people of my old life if I want to move on and start over.


	4. Alone in this place

It took a short ferry ride and two bus rides for me to get all the way up to Middleton, to the closest hospital from Annapolis Royal, the Soldiers Memorial Hospital.

The waiting room was fairly empty, but it still had this cold feeling around it, it wasn't a frightening feeling, it was just, empty. Although this lack of emotion wasn't such a bad thing, every other place I had been or person I had seen had seemed like it was wanted to hurt me. I was terrified of anything that could move. I had dark purple bruises all along my arms and stomach, _he _ loved to fling me into things, then blame me for it breaking, and then hurt me some more. It was a never ending cycle. There would be hell to pay when I get back for leaving. I just hope today doesn't slip away; I need a chance to breath before I head back _there_

"Eleanor Nash?" I jumped at the sound of my name. I really had to stop doing that, it looked suspicious. I stood up and followed the owner of the voice, a short girl in her late twenties with dark purple scrubs on. She looked me over and smiled weakly at me and led me to a small room that was painted with fresh light yellow paint. I sat down on a small wooden chair in the far corner of the room.

"Just wait here, Dr. Pirelli will be with you shortly." Then she calmly walked out of the room and down the hall.

I didn't have a very long time to come up with a convincing lie because the wooden door opened silently, as the tall Caucasian doctor walked in the room only two minutes later.

"Eleanor Nash," he said as he pushed his horn rimmed glasses up the bridge of his nose, "you are here because you have a request for a prescription for a strong pain reliever. Is that correct?"

Cuts were one thing; they gave me that quick release I needed in time of emotional confusion and pain. Bruises, on the other hand, lasted for a long time and left my body sore and stiff.

"Yes this is correct." Please no more question sir, I really need to be going soon. And if I am to come back soon I won't only be needing pills.

"May I ask why? It's protocol, I can't just give you the drugs, you could be a drug seeking addict after all." He asked this as he looked me over for the first time since he entered the room. I decided on the smallest bruise on my wrist would be the best one to show him. His eyebrows rose at its very dark and uncared for state.

"It was a fishing boat accident." I quickly justified, "My boyfriend, he's a fisherman and I fell off his boat and got tangled in the net. I was unconscious for at least a few minutes after he rescued me from the water. We are pretty poor so I had to come alone because he had to work today…" I was rambling, and that was the probably the worst excuse I had ever come up with for any unexplained afflictions, but he seemed to fall for it.

"Fine, I am writing you a prescription for vicodin. Only one pill a day, until those bruises heal that is, then you are not to use them anymore. These pills can become quite addictive." He adjusted his glasses one more time and wrote out the prescription.

"Thank you." Really, you have no idea how you have helped me. And I am truly sorry about stealing all those prescription papers from you on my way out, but once these bruises heal there will be countless others that have taken their places.

The ride home seemed to take so much longer, not that I was complaining. Any diversion from the inevitable is welcome right now. Then again, the sooner I get home, the less severe the beating will be. For rest of the way home I watched the lights of passing cities pass by, and when I was on the ferry I was the ducks that bobbed in and out of the water in searching for food. It was so interesting that these very complex creatures could live such simple lives, no complications, no drama.

The lights were on inside the house and from the window on the side of the house I could see Jarrett inside sitting in his faded blue recliner, staring into the TV, drunk as ever. A small glint of metal in the corner of my eye distracted me from the sight before me for a second. As I turned around, I could see a small wrench laying by the tire of Jarrett's beloved beat up old pick-up. I went over and picked it up I figured it must have been from the new mechanic when he fixed up the truck. Well, a half an hour or so won't hurt too much more I guess.

"Hello?" I knocked on the closed white door. Through the small window on the door I could see a man with his back towards me working feverishly on something. He jumped at the sound of someone's voice.

"We're closed." He yelled through the glass and wood that separated us, and continued fiddling with a front end of a car. His voice sounded strangely familiar, but I couldn't place it with a face.

"No, it's just you left this wrench at my house." I shouted back.

"Oh. Come in then, there doors not locked. Perfect timing, I wa-" he stopped dead in his tracks as he looked up and we both saw each others' faces for the first time.

"Jay? Jay Hogart? What are you doing here?" I asked completely shocked. How could I run in with anyone from Toronto. It's over a thousand miles away! I guess this place wasn't far enough. Although, at the moment, having someone like Jay might be helpful to my current situation. No, what was I thinking, no one can know about this. I'd be dead by the next morning.

"Yea it's me, and it's really you. I heard of an "Ellie" in this town but I wasn't sure if it was _you_. As for what I'm doing here, Isn't it kind of obvious?" he gestured to the garage surrounding us.

"Yea, I know that. I meant why. Why did you come _here__?" _

"Smallest, quietest place in all of Nova Scotia, or so I hear. I needed to get away, just like you I suppose."

"Yea, just like me," I stole a glance at my watch, eleven, crap I was so dead. "Well, I guess I'll be seeing you."

"Yea." He looked at me in a weird way as I walk out of the garage and headed down the street to the house, as if he knew something. There was something else there as well, not pity, but general concern. Those emotions that were presented in his pure blue eyes that followed me all the way home.

I quietly made my way into the now pitch black house and began taking my coat off when the kitchen light suddenly flicked on. I jumped a mile high and nearly fell over as I spun around. There was Jarrett, standing stock still, smirking, his hand still on the light switch.

"Welcome home honey," he said sickly and his smirk immediately disappeared and his tone started burning with rage, "Where the hell have you been? I had to leave work early just to bring that guy up here to fix the truck. Do you know how much I'll be getting jacked in my pay for that? Well do you?" He was already by my side, and as soon as he finished that last sentence his knee was in my gut and I was in on the ground squirming as my stomach exploded in a deep, sharp, pain.

"Ple..a.se stop." I hoarsely whispered, then my eyes widened, and then began to water after his foot jabbed at the side of my body again and again.

"You want me stop do you!?" He yelled ,then he flipped over the wooden chair that was nearby, right over my body and walked away. "Fine, but only because I'm too tired for this right now."

It was at least fifteen minutes later until I was able to even move without gasping in pain. I took a few deep breaths then wriggled into a sitting position, eyes watering, and rummaged around in my coat pocket until I found it. The pills. I opened up the container and struggled to get one into my mouth. It had no immediate effect, but just the comfort of having them calmed me down. I used the wall to help me pull my battered and broken body up from the cold tiled floor, and then I trudged my way over to the couch and collapsed onto it. My whole body was in pain, and my soul was crying for someone to save me. But no matter how loud my soul would scream, I was left alone.


	5. Lessoning the tragedy

My eyes followed her frail and obviously beaten body as is swayed from side to side a she walked down the dirt road. How could anyone do such a thing to another human being? What thrill does it give someone to practically kill someone, yet not enough so as to keep them alive to keep on living their absolutely horrible lives?

I looked down to my hand where the rusted wrench she handed me, not moments ago, still lay. The edges of my mouth formed into a grimace and I threw the cold object across the room; it made a loud crash as hit the file cabinet near my desk.

I'd been in the same position she is now, and I know the thoughts that are probably whizzing around in her head at this moment. She has no hope, and she definitely isn't expecting anyone to even attempt to help. No one helped me, but that's exactly what I'm going to do, and just maybe, we'll both get out of this alive. I know just how dangerous this thing is, but despite that fact, I _needed_ to do this.

It was about a month later when something changed. Every day, I would watch as she would walk by my shop on her way home; I needed to make sure she was alright. It was on this one particular day that I did not see her. This immediately got me worried. No, she had not asked me to fix her problems for her, and she probably never would, but I knew I had to help.

I fixed up a few cars and spent the rest of the day sitting in front of the brick shop waiting for Ellie to pass by. That's the main thing I loved about the location of my garage, you had to pass by it to get anywhere. I waited all day long, but no long how I waited, she didn't show.

As soon as I saw Kristen pass by I jumped up off my place slumped against the wall and ran over to her.

"Hey," I said as I grabbed her arm and pulled her around, "have you seen Ellie today?"

"No, she must really be sick to skip a second day of work." She said then looked down to where my hand was still on her arm and said, "And don't touch me." I immediately let go and she walked briskly down the street. She was so annoying sometimes; couldn't she see that I was very worried?

Sick huh? For some reason I didn't think that's the truth. I ran into my apartment right above my garage and changed out of my greasy work clothes. I needed to see if Ellie was all right, she was home pretty late last night and knowing one abusive control freak is enough to tell me something isn't right.

About fifteen minutes later I arrived at the small house I had been at just a month before, only this time there was no Jarrett or his blue truck in sight. I peered through the grimy window right next to the front door and saw a slumped over body in the far corner of the small room. What I saw shocked me so much that my old criminal instincts kicked in and I found a small flat rock nearby and stuck it under the window then pulled it up swiftly and climbed in. I immediately ran over to the unmoving figure next to the torn and stained couch.

I turned over the body to see it was Ellie with a busted lip. Many other bruises were visible because her sleeve was pushes up to her elbow, but I was sure they weren't the only ones. I slipped my arms under her fragile body and lifted her up from the cold wooden floor. She was so light in my arms that I could hardly believe that I was even carrying her. Hurting someone is one thing, doing that and starving them is a whole different problem.

I didn't even know Jarrett that well, but yet I had this burning hatred for him.

When we finally reached the apartment, I placed Ellie gently down on my bed, took off her shoes that were still attached to her feet, and sat in the chair across from the bed and watched her.

On the outside her biting sarcasm and pretty much her entire personality, gave the appearance of a strong confident girl who knew exactly what she was doing. The truth was, she was strong, but she had been beaten down so many times in so many ways, more than anyone I know.

Three hours later, around ten or so, I was thrown from my thoughts when I saw her stir slightly, then she sat up and looked around the room frantically. She got herself up from the bed, pushed down her sleeves carefully, and began throwing things around until she found her shoes. She did all this while mumbling under her breath and was also completely oblivious to my presence.

"Where the heck am I?...Jarrett is going to kill me… I am so dead….How the heck did I get here? Uhgg my whole body hurts, no thanks to Jarrett of course." She was standing on one foot while trying to get the heels on her feet.

"So it _was_ Jarrett who did this to you?" I chose that moment to reveal my position in the room by asking the one question I had already known the answer to.

"What?" she swiftly turned around and aborted all efforts to get that stubborn shoe on her tiny foot. "What are you talking about, it was a boating accident; and why the heck am I in your apartment. What time is it? What's going on?" she then bombarded me with a thousand questions very few of which I could understand.

"I brought you here to get you away from your abuse boyfriend. You would probably be dead by now if it wasn't for me! Oh, and I was beat every day of my childhood by own dad, I can tell the signs pretty well, so don't give me that crap about some boating accident!" I was so angry that she wouldn't accept my help. Didn't she realize how dangerous this was for her?

"Listen Jay, I don't need _your_ help! Yea, I probably would be dead if it wasn't for you, but the only thing you are doing by _helping_ me, is delaying my death and making yours come sooner. So get out while you can, I am dealing with a pretty dangerous situation. I dealt with all kinds of problems before, this one is no different, and I'll be fine." She said the last part somewhat calmly and convicting, but I could see it in her eyes that she didn't believe she would last the night.

"Ellie," I tried a calmer approach, "You need help, you won't be alright by yourself. I know you're strong, but this guy is stronger. You don't need to go back to him. Despite what every fiber of your being is probably telling you, he can't hurt you if you leave him."

"But that's the thing, I _want_ to go back to him. I love him." She said and looked down to the floor boards. I was completely taken aback, what was it with girls and believing that they loved guys like Jarrett; I couldn't control myself this time.

"YOU LOVE HIM! How can you love a guy that treats you worse than he treats the fish he catches? He will KILL you! What don't you get about that? He is a monster Ellie! And whatever feelings you have for him, he does not return them. This is your chance, to get away, to not have to worry if you'll survive another day!" I stood there, begging, I couldn't stand to see her get hurt anymore.

"Fine, you're right. But where will I go? I have a job here, and friends. I can't start all over again; it was too hard the first time." She looked up at me earnestly, she was really lost.

"You won't be alone; I'll be there for you. We could go back to Toronto, I know it's a crazy place, but you wouldn't be starting all over again. I'm sure Marco, Paige, and maybe even your mom will love to see you again. We could leave tonight!" I watched her mouth move into a slight smile as she considered what I had said. After some time, she starred me in the eyes.

"Alright, let's go. Tomorrow though, I need to pack all my things and tell Kristen well,…..everything. She'll definitely get that promotion she wants then." She was joking _and_ smiling, these were good signs, _very_ good signs.

"Okay tomorrow it is." I was smiling, really smiling, she had that effect on me. She turned to head out of the apartment, but as soon as she reached the door she turned back around.

"Well, isn't it ironic that the same place we needed to leave so badly, is the same exact place we need to go back to? This is a strange, strange world." With that last comment she left.

She was right, it was odd, but at least we would both be safe and _alive_. In just a few hours we would both be on a plane back to our old lives, our old friends, and everything else that was familiar to us.

The only problem was, _this_ tomorrow wasn't just a day away.


	6. Stand your ground

**ELLIE**

I walked down the stairs that led to the back of Jay's garage, turned around, and left the building through the front door.

The walk to my, or I should say _Jarrett's_ apartment, seemed to take a lot more time than it should have, seeing as I lived only about twenty feet from the garage. It was probably because I was running the reasons for leaving Toronto in the first place over and over through my head.

_"Hey Elle, w__here are you going?" Marco__ asked as he saw me get my coat on, ready to face the cold December air. He was a little less desperate for me to spend time with him seeing as he took my advice a__nd got a rabbit; but it was nice__ to see he still cared about me._

_"I'm going to the __office;__ I want to__ hand in my article before break." I stood at the doorway, holding up my article as proof for what I had just said._

_"Oh, I was jus__t wondering if you wanted to come along with Paige and me__. We__'re__ going to a fashion show. It's going to be the best, there won't only be female models and…."__He rattled on and on as excitement filled his eyes._

_I was so happy to see Marco going out and about. He had been so distant, and a tad bit depressed, since Dylan left to play hockey overseas. He had taken __my advice and gotten himself a rabbit, Hip Hop, that's its name. Extremely creative name choice there Marco._

_"Well, I have to get going. Will you be here when I get back?" I decided it was time I got him to stop rambling on. _

_"Oh," he stopped talking and then answered my question, "Nah probably not, especially if a certain friend of yours is in the office when you get there." He winked at me._

_"__Ha ha, very funny Marco." I rolled my eyes. "Jesse__ is in Brampton visiting his family anyway, he told me before he left yesterday__." With that I turned to leave._

_"__See ya later El__!" he called out after me._

_I walked briskly down the hallway and pushed the door to the newspaper office open. As soon as I __looked up from checking over my article and __saw the scene before me__ I stopped dead in my tracks __My eye's bugged out of my skull and I __stared with nothing but shock and __embarrassment at the unexpecting couple__. There was a__n unidentifiable__ black haired __guy;__ half dressed__, sitting on__ an office chair under Nina__ They suddenly broke apart and swiveled around in the chair to see who had interrupted them. _

_All my shock turned to sadness at seeing Jesse's equally shocked expression. Then all the memories of him doing this to me before returned and those feelings turned to rage._

_"__Ellie I can explain! I-" I cut him off by slamming my article down on my desk and turning on my flats to leave the room._

_"I am done! With you and the paper!" I yelled as I left the building._

_Tears were streaming down my face as I walked down the street to the apartment. How could he do this to me? I thought he already had a go with Nina. Why her? What is it with me and guys? Am I just not good enough? A million questions were whizzing through my mind and not a single one of them had answers._

_I shut the thick oak door behind me, slid down the wall, and hugged myself as I cried. I sat there for who knows how long, in the empty apartment, weeping. The one thing that dragged me out of my sad state __was the obnoxious sound of the phone ringing._

_I pulled myself together__ and used the door handle to steady myself as I attempted to stand. I walked over to the old plastic phone and put it to my ear._

_"He-hello?" I sniffled into the__ phone_

_"Is this Miss Nash?" ,a cold robotic sounding voice questioned._

_"Yes, who is calling?" My tears stopped and I scrunched my face up in con__fusion, why is someone asking about me?_

_"This is Lieutenant __Branson, I am calling about your father. You may have heard about the suicide bombings in Kabul….," He kept talking as I listened for what I knew he was going to say, "I am sorry to report Miss Nash, but your father, General Nash, is dead." I slowly placed the phone back on its receiver and__ sat on the couch next to the phone. I was too exhausted to begin crying all over again so I just slowly slid into a lying position and stared at the wooden paneled wall across from me._

_This was not my day. I already knew that with this news my mom would have pulled her old friends from the cabinet and drowned her sorrows away so there was no need for me to go and comfort her. What did I have left here? My father was dead, I was sure my mother was drunk again, my so-called friends would be better without me and my drama, and I just quit writing; the only thing that had ever truly kept me together._

_I suppose leaving is the only option left._

…and then I packed my bags and ended up here. A few tears ran down my face as I recalled those events.

No lights seemed to be on in the house, maybe Jarrett was asleep.

I stepped into the house silently and began searching for a bag or suitcase to put all my belongings into. In the pitch black I stubbed my toe on the edge of the armchair.

"Ow!" I couldn't help but let out a small gasp of pain. What a big mistake.

The light in the bedroom flicked on and I saw Jarrett's evil smirk staring at me from the doorway.

"It's about time. I was getting worried." He said in mock concern and slowly walked over to me.

"You tried to run away didn't you?" he slapped me and before I could even bring my hand up to the burning sensation on face, I was on the ground with the taste of blood in my mouth. After a few more kicks to the back of my head and to my stomach; I could no longer feel a thing.

Suddenly without any warning, I felt the worst pain I had ever felt in my entire life right above my stomach; and it all went black.

**JAY**

I laid a small sack with all my possession in it against the wall near the door, ready to leave at any moment, and sat on the edge of my bed.

As soon as first light broke I would head over and get Ellie and we would be out of this town.

I had to admit it myself even if I wasn't ready to admit it to her, I loved her. She was stronger than she gave herself credit for, she was beautiful, kind, caring, and always helping those who hurt her most. How could anyone hurt her like they had? A person could to the worst thing imaginable to her, but she would always help them when they were in trouble, not matter what. I can't wait to get out of this town with her.

All the sudden leaving didn't matter so much when I thought our plan over once more. Ellie was heading back to the house that _he_ was in at this very moment. _He _was there. Oh crap. This is really bad.

Ellie left over an hour ago. She could be dead by now.

I swiftly moved from the bed to the door, ran down the stairs, and out the front door. I needed to get to Ellie's before it was too late.

It took about two minutes before I could see the worn down shack; Jarrett just walked outside and was heading toward his truck.

I came around the corner and pinned him up against his own truck.

"Hey! What the hell! …Oh it's you. What do you want?" He didn't seem one bit intimidated.

"Where is she? What did you do to her?" I yelled at him and shoved him harder against the truck to get my point across.

"Who?" He asked and gritted his teeth from the sudden sharp pain of the door handle in his back, "And let me go!"

"Ellie you bastard! What have you done to her?" A smirk slid onto his face.

"Oh." He said in complete calm now. "She's probably dead by now." I decked him in face and shoved him onto the ground. He smirk never left his face even as he got up and wiped his bloody lip. Sick minded…son of a…. a million names for him soared through my mind.

He was lying, he had to be lying.

I kicked the pathetically weak door open and quickly glanced around the small room until my eyes found what they were looking for. Ellie

I wiped the single tear from my eye as I turned over her unconscious body. I glanced up just in time to see the headlights of the truck drive away.

I gently placed her body down and ran to the phone.

"Hello? I need an ambulance. Now! My gir- My friend was beat up by her boyfriend. She's bleeding a lot and she's unconscious, I ne-"they cut me off by telling me calm down and wait patiently.

I watched, barely there, as the red lights of the ambulance awoke the whole town. They loaded her into the ambulance and I followed. I knelt down by Ellie and held her cold hand the entire ride.

I needed her to be okay; she was the only thing I had left.

We wouldn't be heading back to Toronto today, maybe Toronto could come here.


	7. Please

**JAY**

"Umm…Is anyone here for Miss…..Nash?" An older nurse who resembled the picturesque view of a grandmother said, as she glanced around the waiting room through her glasses that were held up mainly by the bridge of her nose. She's a nervous type of person, always needing to do something with her hands, has to keep busy. A short, self-conscious fading blonde.

"I am. I'm her……brother." I raised my head from my sitting position in the uncomfortable metal chairs with teal plastic cushions. I knew I would have to lie about who I was; they wouldn't give me any information if I said I was just a friend. I'm not completely stupid; I've seen a few movies here and there where the friends could never find anything out about their possibly dying buddy.

Please say she is going to be okay. Please.

"Your sister is stable. She has multiple cuts and bruises. We managed to stop the internal bleeding. She will be kept in the ICU for a while, but we are keeping her unconscious so she won't have to feel the horrible pain she would be in." she said all this without even glancing up at me. She read it robotically off a clipboard. Okay not such a grandmother, maybe a witch, she didn't even seem to care.

"So can I see her?" I asked anxiously getting up from the chair and began shifting my wait from one foot to another.

"The doctors say it would be best if you waited until tomorrow." She hugged the clipboard to her chest and began to walk away on her shiny white heels.

"Tomorrow?! But it's barely today!" I yelled after her. How can I wait almost twenty-four hours to see her, to tell her the truth about how I feel about her?

"I'm sorry; there is nothing I can do." She said, her heels clicked as he walked on the tiled floor down the unwelcoming hospital hallway. I didn't believe she cared at all.

I needed the only person who would ever accept me after all the crap I put them through.

**ALEX**

I rolled over in my bed to the sound of my cell-phone ringing. I rummaged around on the dresser next to the rock I slept on, my face still buried beneath piles and piles of blankets, as I reached for my phone. I found my way out of the myriad of layers of fabric and glanced over at my clock, two a.m., who the hell was calling at two in the morning?

Jay?

I hadn't heard from Jay since he called to say he was moving somewhere in Nova Scotia. What the hell did he need now?

"He-hello?" I asked, my voice giving away the fact that I had just been awoken from an extremely deep sleep and was extremely annoyed about that. He better not be drunk dialing me, if he was, he was so dead.

"Alex, this is Jay…I …I really need your help. It's Ellie, she's hurt real bad and I-" I stopped him at the sound of Ellie's name. No one had heard from her in over a year and a half. What was he doing with her? How did he find her? Why did he look for her? Did he look for her? Since when did he care about Ellie? I needed answers.

"Jay, what do you man Ellie's hurt? Where are you? How did you find her? What's going on?" There was no annoyance that could be detected in my voice that time, just concern and confusion.

"She was in the same town in Nova Scotia that I went to. She had a boyfriend, an abusive fisherman. He really did a number on her this time. I don't know how long she's been with him, but she's unconscious and it's his entire fault. If I ever see him again I'll…" His voice sounded as though he had been crying. Whoa, was Jay generally concerned for someone other than himself?

"You sound like you have some pretty deep feelings for Ellie there. When did this happen?"

"When I got to know her as more of an actual person than just 'Sean's girlfriend'." I didn't ask any more questions. Jay wasn't the type of person to get all emotional on you without a reason, a really good reason.

"So where are you now?" I guess I was headed to Nova Scotia. I could hear him give a sigh of relief when he heard me say that; maybe Ellie was in a worse condition than I originally thought.

"Soldiers Memorial Hospital. It's in Middleton." He practically spit out. It looks like he really does want me there.

"Alright, I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Thanks so much. And thanks for everything. Ever." And with that the line dropped and I was left with silence.

I could already tell that this was going to be a very long day. That's never a very good sign

**JAY**

I shut my cell-phone, tucked it in my back pocket, and sat down on the tiled floor; which was considerably more comfortable than the chairs. Hopefully Alex would get here soon; this hospital was like a ghost town. Now, all I could do was wait, and the only thing I had left was the multiple thoughts running wild through my head.

Out of nowhere came a memory of the first time I had ever been in a room alone with Ellie. It was the day after the shooting…..

….._I had just dropped Emma off from coming back from Wasaga; without Sean. I had planned to stay over Sean's and Ellie's tonight, now I wasn't so sure. _

_I followed Ellie into the apartment and sat on the couch__ while she headed straight down the hall. __She hadn't said a word for over two hours. Normally she was pretty quiet but this was__ way__beyond normal__. Emma had been crying her eye's out the entire ride home, like Sean was her boyfriend, Ellie hadn't made a sound she just glared out of the dusty windows of my orange civic_

_ All of the sudden, she emerged with a bunch of cardboard boxes in her arms and she casually dropped them in the middle of the room and went back down the hall__ to get even more_

_This continued until she ran out of boxes and then she began bringing out all of Sean's things__ out of his room and from everywhere else in the apartment__. She acted like this was the most normal thing in the world; she hadn't shed any __tears or shown any emotion at all__ the entire time._

_ I decided it was time for me to speak up._

_"You know Red, he did ditch __**you.**__ Greenpiece isn't the only one who is allowed to cry. I don't care __if __you do." I__ knew that she didn't know it yet, but the reasons for Sean leaving her can all be traced back. It killed me to see her like this and know it's my entire fault.__ I was dreading the moment when everyone discovered what Alex, Spinner, and I had done. Along with the moment they discovered who we blamed for it all; there was __definitely__ going to be hell to pay._

_Of course her response to my way of being nice was to glare and continue with whatever the heck she was doing._

_"What the heck are you even doing with all of Sean's stuff anyway?" She stopped and looked up at me; and in that moment, I could see that it was taking every bit of her will to not cry in front of me._

_"He's not coming back, he told me that. So what's the point of letting all his stuff take up __**my **__space? It's my place now. Wait, what are you even doing here?" She was glaring at me now. I could tell she wanted me out __there at any cost._

_"I planned to stay over tonight, and even though Seany boy bailed out, I still need a place to crash." I leaned back, relaxed farther into the couch, and smirked at her. She glared, threw a cardboard box, at me and sank to the floor crying.__ Whoa, where did this come from? I immediately got up from couch and place a hand tentatively on her back to comfort her._

_"It's going fine. You don't need him, he's a jerk."_

_"He's your best friend, and it's not going to be all right." She sniffled out. _

Those were the last words she said all night. The next morning she was back to her normal sarcastic self and she acted as though the previous night never happened.

She's one strange girl.

I stood up and started walking around. There really isn't much to do in a hospital is there? All the sudden a cell-phone started vibrating from my coat pocket.

"Hello?" Who the hell's cell was this? It was a black Motorola Razor, nice.

"Mechanic guy? Why do you have Ellie's cell? Where is she? What's going on?" Kristen. Damn.

"She's in the hospital; her so called boyfriend beat the crap of her for probably the hundredth time. I-" She cut me off.

"What hospital? What town?" She sounded urgent.

"Soldiers Memorial Hospital, Middleton. Why do you care?"

"I'm like Ellie's best friend, duh! I'll be there as soon as I can."

"I don't think that's such a good idea." Please god no, don't let here come here, I won't be able to survive.

"Of course it's a good idea." She hung up before I could say another word. I shut Ellie's cell and grimaced. It took all of my will power not to chuck the phone across the room. I really hated that girl.

Looks like I have nothing else to do but wait for Alex and _Kristen_ to show up. I sat down in probably the most uncomfortable chair in the world and placed my frayed, navy, hat over my face. Maybe catching some sleep would help me pass the time. Sleep did come, but I was left with only one last thought as I slowly drifted off.

Please let Ellie be alright, please.


	8. The truth

_**ALEX**_ "Please tell me she isn't always like this?" I asked as I glanced at Jay and then stared in amazement as Kristen continued to talk a mile a minute into her cell phone. This blond was really starting to get on my nerves. How could Ellie be friends with a person like this? They were exact opposites, but then again, I hadn't seen Ellie in a little over a year. A lot could change in that period of time.

Jay just smirked from his spot on the floor. Uhgg. I had no idea how I was going to deal with this for another second.

"Remind you of anyone?" Jay asked that stupid smirk still plastered on his smug face.

Paige. I knew that was who he was talking about instantly. They were just too similar it was strange that I hadn't seen it before. I guess I was just trying to forget.

I glared at him and turned my attention back to the blond. Who the heck was she even talking to? It was almost ten but seeing as I hadn't had much sleep the night before I was a **little** grouchy.

"Will you ever shut up!? Aren't you here for Ellie? Who the hell are you even talking to?" I had finally lost it. She snapped her cell phone shut and glared at me.

"Of course I'm here for Ellie, I'm just trying to save both our jobs. She hasn't been to work in over three days. Our boss is just a little bit curious as to where she has been? He's actually thrilled to have his two best journalists decide not to go to work today. In fact he's decided to promote us both and give us a huge bonus for not showing up." Ahh, so that's why they're both friends. The biting sarcasms was exactly as I remembered, at least that hadn't changed.

"She's not going back. To work, or even Annapolis Royal as a matter of fact. We were going to leave …"He glanced around the room until his eyes found a small calendar hanging on the wall behind the welcome desk. "…well, today actually. To go back to Toronto." Jay said finished slowly and looked at the both of us calmly.

"What!? Why not? Jarrett's gone; no one has seen him around town all morning. Why would she have to leave? It's your fault isn't it? I knew you were bad news since you stepped foot in our town, you little-" Kristen had stepped right over to where Jay sat and towered over him, He stood up and cut her off.

"My fault!?" He asked with a smile that blatantly said it was most ridiculous accusation he had ever heard.

"My fault? It isn't **my fault** that she is lying in a hospital bed right now! It isn't **my fault** that she nearly died! It was a mutual decision between the **both** of us to leave! We both wanted a more familiar scene. A place with the same problems and same people." He was pissed. That was quite obvious. Jay never was one to just sit back when he was blamed for something he didn't do. Especially when it could hurt something he cared about, or in this case someone.

It was probably a good time to step in.

"Back to your corners you two. It's time to calm down and relax. Ellie will be fine. Kristen, none of this is Jay's fault, the only person you can blame is that ass of a boyfriend who did this to her in the first place. Jay, there is nothing you could of done. Now all we can do is wait and be hopeful, for Ellie's sake." Wow, I never thought I would be the voice of reason. But at least I stopped them from killing each other.

"Purple socks." Kristen said out of nowhere some time later after we had all calmed down a bit. Purple what?

**KRISTEN**

"Purple socks." I repeated myself and sunk down onto the grimy linoleum floor. How could I have been so stupid?

"What?" Jay asked with a look of confusion. He was so stupid sometimes. Then again, what I had said made no sense at all.

"When Ellie first started dating Jarrett I asked her if there was anything about him that could get me a promotion. She said he had a pair of purple socks. When Ellie and I first became friends, we decided to come up with some kind of code that something was seriously wrong we couldn't talk about it. It was Ellie's idea. She said she had been screwed over so many times, no matter where she went, it was bound to happen again. She also said she didn't want the whole town to know about it so it had be something that no one else would guess. We decided on the color purple. I could tell she was holding something back from me, she's not the best liar, but what she said never registered until now. This is my entire fault." There was my conclusion. I could have stopped all this, but I was too caught up in my own life to care about what was happening in my best friend's.

"God, I'm so self-centered." I didn't realize I had said this out loud until Jay piped in.

"You just realize this now princess?" He asked a haughty look on his face.

"It's not your fault either. Ellie's always sarcastic, it's hard to tell when she's trying to tell you something, secret code word or not." Alex piped in. I could tell she didn't like me either but she was better at hiding it than Jay. Then again, Jay wouldn't even bother in trying to hide how he's feeling.

**JAY**

"Should we call anyone else? You know, her parents, siblings?" Kristen asked some time later; this day just continued to drag on and on.

"Only child." I responded and pushed my hat down to the brim of my nose trying to block her out.

"Parents are dead." Alex added. At this I pushed my hat back up and gave her a questioning glance. They're dead?

"Oh, no wonder. She never mentioned her family." Kristen said. I was still confused; I thought only her dad died.

"I thought only her dad was dead?" I questioned when Alex never noticed my glance.

"Her mom died of Alcohol poisoning only a few hours after she heard of Ellie's dad's death. Ellie called me and told me what happened. That was the last I heard from her, or even about her until Marco called to ask if I knew where she went." Alex said solemnly and bent her head down as if she was recalling the phone call.

"Who's Marco? Maybe we should call him? He might want to know what's going on." Kristen said.

"That's probably not such a good id-" I started but Alex cut me off.

"No, she's right. Marco was Ellie's best friend for over five years. He doesn't even know we know where she is, let alone that she is in a hospital." She sounded like she was finished but noticed my grimace and added, "Jay, just because he hates you because you called him a fag and made cracks about him about a million times doesn't mean he doesn't have the right to know what's happening."

At that moment the same nurse from earlier stepped into the room and disrupted our almost argument.

"Ellie Nash is awake now if you would like to see her. She's in room 204 right down the hall there." She pointed to a dimmed hall that ended with an emergency exit, and then went to sit behind a large metal reference desk.

"Well, it looks like we can ask her opinion on this." I said. I then stood up and headed swiftly to the room that the nurse had pointed out. Alex and Kristen followed slowly behind me. They waited outside the room as I entered cautiously.

The sight before me almost made me gasp. There was Ellie, her left eye covered with a bandage, left arm in a cast, and multiple cuts and bruises all over her body. She looked so broken and beaten down. And she was, physically, but she looked it emotionally as well.

"Hey, how are you doing?" I asked and gently placed my hand on her cheek.

"Oh, alright I guess. Just a little drowsy, must be the drugs." She said and glanced curiously at my hand on her face. I removed it swiftly; maybe now wasn't the best time to spill my heart out to her.

I adjusted my hat and glanced around the plain white room trying to think of something to say.

"Alex is here. She flew in this morning. Oh, and Kristen." She noticed how my tone changed with Kristen's name and she laughed, but then scrunched up her face in pain. I watched her curiously as her pained expression slowly returned to normal. It killed me to her in this much pain, but there was nothing I could do, and that hurt even more.

The girls took the mentioning of their names as a cue to enter the room.

**ELLIE**

Why was Jay acting so weird around me? And what was with his hand on my face?

"You look like crap El. What were the three types of men I told you not to date? Oh yeah, musicians, reporters, and fishermen. See, this is what happens when you don't trust me." I smiled as Alex walked in and sat on the edge of my bed. She rolled her eyes in mock aggravation at me and then slightly smiled. You could always trust Alex to lighten the mood.

"Hey. I'm really sorry about not noticing what was going on. I never trusted Jarrett from the beginning. I should have-" I stopped her before she continued; she could go on and on forever.

"Listen, it's no one's fault. This could have happened to anyone. Let's just get out of here as soon as possible." I then noticed Kristen's pained expression, and then I knew it was because she thought I was ditching her.

"Kristen, you should come with us. You were always more of a city girl. Toronto would be good for you. For one thing, you would definitely get paid more."

"Okay." She said and I knew it took everything in her to have only a one word answer.

"Tomorrow then." I said and smiled at all of my friends around me. People actually cared about me, and it gave me the best feeling I had ever felt in my entire life.

"Really? I remember you saying this sometime before and we never actually left." Jay questioned, his signature smirk smiling at me from the far corner of the room.

"Really."

And it was the truth.


	9. Go back to start

**J****AY**

I watched Ellie sleep as the plane lifted off into the sky. She looked so calm when she slept, like nothing in the world could disturb her in her. If the first time you saw Ellie was seeing sleeping, you would think she had never had a single trouble in her entire life. All the troubles and pain that she went through were hidden by her eyelids. I felt as if I might disturb her if I continued to stare so I looked away and my eyes fell on the two people in the row to my left.

I smirked as I received another glare from Alex since she was made to sit next to Kristen for the entire flight. Ahh well not my problem.

I had never been so calm in my entire life. Everything was falling into place; everything was great for the first time in my life. There were no secrets and no pain. I sunk into my chair and relaxed as I watch Ellie's eye's move rapidly under her eyelids and wondered what she was dreaming about.

**ELLIE**

At first I was having a soothing nap but soon I drifted off to a deep sleep. The dream I was having was really starting to scare me. I was alone in my old apartment, the one I had before I moved in with Jarrett, and I was staring into this mirror.

I was standing there all alone staring back at my seven year old self with a younger version of my father behind me dressed in his army uniform ready to head into battle. Then he changed and so did I. I was now fourteen and a fourteen year old Marco was standing behind he looked so different, scared and afraid. I seemed different too, like I had gone through hard times, and I had. I blinked and was now sixteen with Sean behind me. He shook his head and walked out of my view, out of my life. One second later I was eighteen and crying with a strung out Craig behind me laughing like my tears were the funniest thing in the world. The mirror showed me again, it was only three months later and Jessie was behind making out with Caitlin Ryan behind my back.

Every time the mirror showed me I was older; it also showed me as though I hadn't slept for weeks. I looked sick and broken.

It changed once more, only this time I was bloody and bruised, and Jarrett's hand was on my shoulder squeezing it, painfully. His ice cold stare sent chills down my spine. I wasn't crying though, my face showed no emotion at all. All the sudden I seemed to awaken and Jay was standing behind Jarrett and me. Tears were pouring down my face and I was visibly shaking with fright. Then they both disappeared and I was alone again.

I was staring at only myself in the mirror, all the sudden I too disappeared. Now I was staring at a sort of TV screen as I watched the events before me play themselves out. There was every guy I had seen in the mirror before along with all my friends and my mother staring down at a gravestone. None of them were crying; in fact they were all smiling. Slowly, one by one, they walked away from the grave until only Jay was left standing right in front of it. Then he to left smirking as he went and I was finally able to see whose name was on the gravestone.

My heart dropped down into my stomach as I saw my own name on medium sized rock. I just continued to stare at it trying to understand how all my friends and even my family could do this to me.

I heard a soft voice calling me as everything slowly vanished and I was in my seat in the plane and Jay was shaking me looking incredible worried.

"Ellie? Ellie are you ok? We landed, it's time to go." He smiled as I opened my eyes. This smile was kind and friendly not like the smirk he had on in my dream.

"I'm up. I'm fine" I said, got up from my seat and yawned. It would probably best not to worry about the dream, nothing like that was ever going to happen anyway.

**ALEX**

I pulled my old beat up Subaru out of the airport parking lot; I had left it there when I went to Annapolis Royal. Ellie was sitting next to me and Jay and Kristen were sitting in the back, it was his time to suffer. This time she was asking what it was like in Toronto; she had never been off Nova Scotia.

"So what do you do for fun? In Annapolis we could go to the beach, but you can't do that do here can you? I-"Jay cut her off.

"Do you want me to answer the questions or do you just get a thrill off being annoying?" He huffed and glared at her.

"Fine, answer them." She crossed her arms and gave him a challenging look.

"I usually race cars illegally, steal, get high, or hit on girls. Now I don't know if I'll be doing any of that." I swear I saw him wink at Ellie through the mirror; someone stop me from throwing up.

"If you two are going to be all cutesy, I'm ditching you right here." I threatened. Ellie looked at me offended and Jay defended himself with the most thought out comeback ever.

"I don't do _cutesy_So, how are we planning on approaching Marco and Paige anyway? You didn't leave the queen bee on the best note and Marco hates me. They would only want to see Ellie and there's no room for me if you and motor mouth are going to be there." I noticed that besides Ellie and me, he refrained from calling Marco a nickname as well. He really must care about her if he's not calling her best friend a fag like he always does.

I hadn't thought this far through, but Ellie saved me with a sound plan.

"I'll greet Marco and Paige, distract them with the story of my adventures in Annapolis Royal, explain everything, and since Griffin left after his big job promotion, that leaves two empty rooms at the house. So Jay and I in one, and Alex, you and Kristen will have to deck it out for the other room. The other one can have the couch." We all nodded our heads but Kristen had a few questions.

"Why are you and _him _sharing a room?" She said as she looked at Jay with disgust. Ellie simply laughed and explained her reasoning.

"Well, I don't feel comfortable with Jay and Alex in the same room seeing as they used to date, not that I don't trust them but my track record with guys can fend for that reason, and I'm sure you would be more comfortable staying by yourself than with either of them." For the last part, I'm sure she meant to say, I don't want Jay or Alex ripping off your head in the middle of the night.

"Oh okay." She seemed quite alright with that reasoning and sat back into her seat.

"Well I guess it's a good thing we got that all squared away, cause we're here." I said and we all stared at the apartment from our seats in the car. No one moved.

"Well? Are we just going to sit here and stare at the building or are we going in?" Kristen asked impatiently.

**JAY**

We all sat in a row on the couch while Ellie explained everything. Paige occasionally glanced in the room at Alex; no one looked at me or Kristen. I couldn't overhear what they were saying but whenever she got to the gruesome details you could hear them both breathe in with shock.

"So you all should get adjusted for the night." Marco said as he entered the room and the others followed him wordlessly. I had placed my hat over my eyes and had fallen asleep for ten minutes and didn't even now a second had past.

"Hey hun, I love your sweater. Where in the world can I get one of those?" Paige said and addressed this to Kristen. Kristen beamed from the compliment and went into this very long tail about how her mother's brother's friend's aunt got it for her one Christmas or something like that. They babbled all the way up to one of the guest rooms and then they parted. It looked like Alex got the couch. Marco gave her a sympathetic smile and brought out a few extra blankets from a closet and he too went to his room.

Ellie had already reached the top of the stairs and was waiting for me to follow. Once we got into the room we both crashed right into bed. We were both exhausted from the events of the day.

I moved my arm cautiously over her body and placed my hand tensely on her stomach waiting for any sign that she didn't want it there. She casually placed her hand over mine as well and I relaxed.

"I love you." Those three words shocked me almost as much as they did her. Her body tensed up then relaxed.

"I love you too." I smiled and slowly began to drift off to sleep. I know knew this was exactly where I was supposed to be.

**ELLIE**

I could feel him fall into a rhythmic breathing pattern and I knew he was asleep. Those words had come as a shock. It was the first time they had ever been spoken to me, or at least the first time I knew the person who said it wasn't lying. Sean had said it out of pity, Jesse guilt and my parents just because they had to.

It was also the first time I knew I wasn't lying. I really did love him, and nothing was going to change that.

So after running away, and getting hurt, I finally found what I was looking for. Love.

It turned out that all that I wanted and needed was right back where I started on this unforgettable journey. I guess I just wasn't looking in the right spot.

Nowhere, was anyone happier than me at that very moment.


End file.
